Tuesday, March 27, 2012

the good, the bad, and the just plain sad

How do we even put our Gotcha Day into words? This poor girl was loved so well that she is grieving very hard tonight. She was standing in the middle of the semi-busy room that we met her in. When we greeted her with a Mandarin "hello" she answered with an English "hello" and laughed with us when we laughed. She clapped and cheered for herself and the entire time she clutched the red photo book that we mailed to her several months ago.

Her loving foster family had already taught her that we were Mama and Baba (daddy in Mandarin) and she definitely recognized us.

The goodbye after we had signed our temporary guardianship paperwork was simply painful. The foster mother was barely holding back her tears as I was, but neither of us wanted to make it worse for Joya.

We got back to the room and our guide helped us try to calm her down with food and drink. She has cried a lot though with the exception of when we Face Timed with Kenyon's parents. She was giggly and animated and took right to "swiping" the iPad.

Then we returned right back to just plain sad. She much prefers daddy over me and I'm just happy she prefers someone. They are both finally asleep and I am typing this on my iPad which has no formatting ability at all. I'm going to upload a few pictures of our baby doll and then let my tears flow for her loss as I try to sleep.

Thank you for all the comments and support. We are reading each one.

Also, I was notified that my dear friend Ashley's mom passed away this morning from a long battle with cancer. Please pray for their family's tears as well.


13 comments:

Amanda Greene said...

You were the first thing that I thought of this morning..I love thinking about how God chose you and Kenyon to be Joya's loving parents before the foundation of this earth. She is so sweet and I LOVE the pic of her in Kenyon's arm.

Grandma Jellybean said...

My tears are flowing for you. She is beautiful. My heart breaks for her sorrow. Soon she will know how blessed she is to have such wonderful, loving new parents and 4big brothers and a huge extended family who are all anxious to love her too! Now I can say I have 10 grandchildren and 1 on the way!!Love you all. Come home safely! Mom

me said...

We've been checking the computer every hour since we woke up... and were up until 1AM last night thinking and praying for you. Praying that His arms will tangibly hold you all! Eva listened to me read your whole post and looked at all the pictures... she would like to tell Joya that she loves her so much and can't wait to teach her how to play Angry Birds and can't wait to see her "for real" We love you!!!! :)

Anderson, Party of Five! said...

Laurie! I love you sweet friend. I am seriously just a mess right now, reading this and looking at the pictures. Hang in there...those tears will become joy - for all of you. Joya is so beautiful. I cannot get over her carrying around the photo book - precious! And seriously, as difficult as it is, I LOVE that she is clinging to Kenyon. I love how God continues to work on his heart. Awesome! Love, love, love and miss you!

David York said...

Can't believe she is in your arms! How awesome! Hang in there, it will get better soon. The other day, Hudson was talking with Denise about his gotcha day. He said, "I thought my parents were strangers. Isn't that crazy!". Soon, that is how Joya will feel.

Jody said...

I am so happy for you and Kenyon that you can finally hold her! When I was in foster training, I was told that if it didn't hurt when I passed the babies on to their adoptive parents, then I didn't love them enough when I had them. To this day, I still remember the shock at hearing this but at the same time, how I couldn't wait for my heart to be broken loving a child who so desperately needed it! How lucky you are that Joya had a loving foster family to teach her about unconditional love! I will be praying extra hard for Joya's foster parents this week as I know first hand what they are feeling!
Much love to you!
Jody

Kathy said...

There are truly no words for the emotion I feel when reading this and looking at the pictures. Moved beyond words. Oh how we sorrow when God moves into the uncomfortable. When He rips us from what we know into a place of love and peace. My heart and prayers are with you all during this transition. Praying as you show Joya the steady and unmovable love of her mama and daddy and mirror the love of our God who purses and is relentless to call us His own. Joya is beautiful!! Sweet, sweet girl.
Love to you all!
Kathy and fam.
'I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being...' Ephesians 3:16

Natalie said...

Perfect title. I've got tears in my eyes for how hard it is now, but knowing the joy that will come very soon.

Julie mcbroom said...

Crying in silver star cafe readin your post. What a journey. Can't wait to meet her.

Amy King said...

First thing I did this morning when I got up was check for pics on FB!! It must have been sureal to finally hold her in your arms! I am so excited for you! I know all the sadness is hard. I don't think that most people think that there is sadness in adoption. But every adoption, no matter what the child's age or circumstance, involves loss. This is the part of James 1:27 that people don't always grasp, the caring for orphans "in their distress". As you walk into Joya's new life you are also walking into her old one and embracing her history, both good and hard. I pray that God will show you more of himself through this time & that you will come to understand at an even deeper level of how God walks into out hurt and pain, never leaving us through it all! Love you guys!

Jennifer said...

Thank you for posting this journey!
May God's peace fill both her and you both during this transition time. Just keep singing and praying over her~

Mama Shoe said...

O Laurie, thinking of you during Sunday worship this morning, and just praying over your family and this transition time. Sad but oh so sweet! I think she'll be a Baba's little girl and everyone's mei-mei in no time at all! Thank you for sharing these special moments with us!

Cara said...

I couldn't wait to check your blog today. We have all been thinking of you! Even my sister in Australia wanted an update. And Merritt was excited to see Lucas's new sister. Joya is so blessed to have such a loving family.

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